My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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