So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
