my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All I want is dick and wine.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
