mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
