so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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