someone owes me an orgasm
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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