So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your penis caused this!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
