It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
