I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
