PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
