Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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