ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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