i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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