Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
