I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
bring money and cleavage
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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