I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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