While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize