I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
