Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
