it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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