My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
