Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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