I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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