i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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