my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
