She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
