The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
