Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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