Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
