this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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