The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
