yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
