Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
