I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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