Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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