Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
