Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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