I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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