Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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