So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize