Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize