Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
