I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
now i know why i became what i already was.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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