once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
