you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
