I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize