phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I FOUND THE LEGS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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