your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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