He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
