it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
