so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
