you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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