Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize