Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize