He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
