Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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