i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
