nut hugger
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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