idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
